Statistic

At 18 this young girl took on responsibly 

Had a child of her own with a man of then she came to the conclusion she could not stand 

But it was a little to late for judgement and opinions because she'd already spread her legs 

She'd try to hide her stomach in shame and disappointment more in the man she'd chose than the child in her stomach 

But still .. 

Another single black female with a deadbeat baby father so what did that make me but a statistic ? 

Yeah , you're mommys bestfriend the one she spends time 

with 

The one she loves and comforts in and you think the bonds timeless until mommy needs a man 

All you know is you and her and she's searching for something you've never known like you aren't enough & you're to young to even grasp this concept let alone understand

The worst feeling in the world is feeling like your love is disposable 

Mommy walks in with a ring speaking of a " proposal " to a man you've never met or seen 

How could I feel anything but disrespected ? 

I know it's her life but it's unfair I was pushed to the side and basically neglected so mommy can have her fantasy 

Then the worst part of all is he hated me 

Everyday there was an argument I felt less and less important

Even had another baby which stooped me down from the left out to the doormat 

She had ridded the statistic and I was the last piece 

I just could never fit in to the perfect family picture even though I was an amazing big sister 

Daughter ? I could never be 

And that's what hurts the most because that's all I ever wanted from mommy 

If she gave me that love and attention I've been fighting for , yelling for , disrespecting for I'd be anything she wanted me to be 

But I'll never be nothing more than the statistic my mother had at 18