Steady and Stable

Steady streams of pushes and pulls—

We are playing tug of war.

Steady, stable, methodical.

Every once in a while, I push a little

Harder to keep it exciting.

The keep the war from boring us,

To get your attention.

Because I loved you.

You were alert; when I pushed

Hard, so did you. I felt steady, safe.

You put the rope down for a little –

But you stayed nearby, so my pushes were

Not fruitless. You picked up the rope and put forth some effort.

Not as steady, nor as stable—but still there.

Then, you gradually stopped picking up the rope,

And when you did, you didn’t push back.

I prompted, encouraged, begged—fruitlessly.

You thought I would hold on, keeping it steady, stable.

But I got tired of the disappointment, and my hands are calloused and dry.

So I let go of the rope. I let go of the burden.

Now I am finally free from this toxic tether.

I am finally free. Steady. Stable.