Step-Mom

Step mom

Stepping stone

To ten years of therapy

Perhaps with a side of insecurity,

And trust issues,

And sleepless nights

Wondering Why Her?

And How Come?

Asking myself questions

I shouldn't, like

Why Her children

suddenly mean more to him

than I do.

Step mom

Stepping stone to quick rejections

And uselessness

And the feeling of wet gum

Stuck to a quick shoe

And being scraped off

With a sneer,

a glance of disgust,

just throwing me off into

The wind

Like the balled up piece of paper

with year old information

Like yesterday’s newspaper

no longer relevant.

Step mom

Stepping stone

To being stepped on

And stepped over

But never stepped in front of

And held

And understood

And asked “Are you okay?”

Just ignored

and blown off.

Step mom

Step away from

The life you try to steal

Away from me

The family you try to replicate

Do not duplicate the love

I have

And then turn around

And call my version trash,

step mom, the

stepping stone to indifference

and invitations that were never sent

and conversations that were never started

and love that was never felt,

because the ring on your finger

makes you feel

Privileged.

A queen to a throne that

Nobody

Asked you to take

And that you definitely

Did not earn

or deserve.

But this I can not explain

Without sideway glances

And a tsk tsk

And a mutter

of “Oh she’s bitter,

just green with envy."

Step mom

Stepping stone

To another detached relationship

Another topic to dwell over

and overthink

and bite my tongue over

in casual conversations

or dinner

or tea.

 

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