stepping my game up

October 19, 2012

although i get nothing but love there is always going to be moments where others will push and shove there are those waiting for you fall i remind them why at the end, i always stand tall i give myself a gut check when i see myself being comfortable i hear those whispers of encouragement in my soul shouting be uncomfortable there are those who have that hunger like a boxer gunning for the undisputed title that's why all the words i say are vital there is nothing wrong with competition that's why none of verses becomes a repetition people are determine to see me fall my drive to be the best is why i stand tall its one thing to cheer someone that will prosper its another to take a cheap shot like rappers dissing other rappers each day presents new challenges i make certain to rise above the occasion the same way magic did against bird

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Comments (2)

MVP-Most Valuable PoetJan 7, 2013

thank you for the support give me more specifics in what way from your vantage point where i could elaborate further reason of metaphors was to simply create and relate punch lines check out my other poems sam

samueltfranklinJan 7, 2013

There is a strong rhythm here, and the end rhymes are fresh and interestingly accomplished ("prosper and rappers" stands out). The three metaphors permeating the poem--comparisons with a boxer, rappers, and basketball players (I think)"--are strong, but could perhaps be elaborated upon. The image of a boxer gunning for a prize title is particularly evocative--consider making that image more present, as it truly is a worthwhile one.