Still Searching

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:38 -- micahb1

I have not one, but two names

One means, "who is like God"

The other, a variation of a flower

It also means unblemished, virginal

You decide, you pick, it makes no difference

Individually, they are their own characters

The first one is logical, analytical, self-reliant

The second one is independent, shy, pure

Literally these are what my names mean

This is who they are as separate beings

Together, well that's another story

They say my name

It is like being handed a blank piece of paper

My name, unique in the sense that I have two

Odd, because together, my names don't have one single meaning

I've searched for it; I came up blank

I thought upon it, I found no answer

A search for the literal meaning to my name is useless

For there is none

I have to define my own name

Like a captain sailing her ship over the vast ocean

I ride the tides of my life

With my own name as my vessel directing as I wish

With me as the captain

It is ironic, how I have come to be like my names

Their qualities have become my own

or so it would seem

For it is just beginning

I have just started my journey with this name

It may be a basis to who I am

but my names don't define me

I define it

I am the one who must fill that sheet of paper 

with the meaning to who I am

I must find my way through the labyrinths, 

starting from the place that they have chosen for me

What if I had been given a different name?

Would I have started out from a different place?

Would that have affected whether I came out of this maze the same?

Again, I do not have the answer

But as you call my name

A mouthful when said whole

But smooth when shortened

I will look back, wave from my ship, 

Peer over the maze and stand

by my companions

Self-reliant, independent, shy, analytical

As the sun sets, and the horizon draws nearer

I hope to make new friends and find new places to visit, 

In the morning 

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