still sixteen

i was fourteen

you were sixteen

you were beautiful

your skin was soft your eyes were skies

your mind was unobtainable 

your kiss was sweet but never promising

and i was unavailable

our friends laughed with us 

and your heart seemed full of light

but who would know where you would go 

at the beginning of that night

i was fourteen lying on the ground

when i heard the news

your body was found lifeless

and i was left confused

you had stolen so many hearts over the years

but i would have never guessed

that you would steal away your own life

when we all thought you were the best

i was fifteen and still crying

though everyone else had moved on

my wrists would bleed my insides trembled 

when remembering you were still gone

i'd talk to you every night 

before i said my prayers

and beg the Lord to just let you whisper to me through the air

i was sixteen and i was all alone

wondering who would love me

and feeling sorry for myself for not having you beside me

seventeen and i was enraged

because you never made it there

you were still sixteen and still had crisp brown hair

i was eighteen and i had grown up too fast

i wondered what you would have said

as you stood on the sidelines watching my youth fly past

nineteen and i fell in love with somebody else

i asked God to forgive me for putting you on the shelf

i am twenty now and ive felt pain

ive seen flames at their first spark

i've seen them destroy entire cities

of my grand and wondrous heart

i look back to when i was fourteen

and think how young we were

to make such rash decisions when we really werent sure

i think of now you'd be twenty two so handsome and so keen

but you ended it all with no one to call

so you're always still sixteen