Stirred, Not Shaken

They said it’d be a change

And it wouldn’t be easy;

Living a life like this

Isn’t a joyride.

I didn’t expect it to be

But I also thought I was stronger than this.

Sometimes I feel like I’m holding onto air

Like I’m living my life for something fake.

I feel bad saying it, but it’s only the truth

I’m not the only one struggling

 Even though it feels that way.

The world is tempting, every single day

Where is the line

Because I can’t see it.

They say I’ll desire to live right

But sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I just don’t.

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to

It’s just gotten so hard

I don’t feel Him anywhere

Though He’s right by my side.

I’m pushing Him away with my hands

Pulling Him closer with my heart

Body and mind, at war

Soul and flesh, fighting.

I’m weak, far too weak

Can’t do it on my own.

And He tells me I don’t have to

His Strength is my Refuge

His Love is my Shelter

His Grace is my Reason

For every day, for every second.

I missed the whole point:

Relying on Him.

This world will come down

Burden me, fight me

But residing in Him I’m stirred,

Not shaken.