Stolen Innocence

I was in this world for 2 years when I lost my parents 

My last memory is of me holding a gift in my hands while my mom laid in bed 

She was so transparent, “ A walking skeleton” 

My father, missing 

“ He didn’t want you anyways” 

Those words stuck to me like glue 

Two and I was already damaged goods in others eyes 

I was so easily manipulated 

I wanted to please everyone 

I didn’t know what was okay and what wasn’t

My innocence was stolen at 5

But who cares right? I was already damaged goods 

“This stays between us or your family will die” 

I wanted to protect my family 

I remained broken, silent 

I was in 8th grade when I decided to speak up 

I told the only person I trusted 

They did nothing 

I assumed it was normal, that it was ok.

Living under the same roof as a monster 

The space between my legs was never sacred 

Not until I was 17

The cycle of abuse didn’t ended 

I hit 15 and I thought I was “ in love” 

Being hit, molested, raped.

I thought it was normal

I thought that was love 

If it was happening to me it wasn’t happening to someone else 

Protect the rest no matter the consequences 

Those were my thoughts running through my head 

It’ll be ok. It’ll be over soon is what I would say to myself as tears ran down my face.

I was 16 when I had enough of that

This time I was going to do it right 

I told a teacher and they helped me out 

I thought I was finally out 

17

That’s how old I was and I was still living under the same roof as monsters 

I ran away 

I went anywhere but there 

House hoping and even being homeless for a bit 

I did what I had to do to stay alive 

I had no motivation to keep going 

Now at the end of May i’ll be graduating high school and attending a 4-year university 

I thought it was impossible but i’m here now 

I have years of intensive therapy down my rode, but i’m alive 

I’ve had to play many roles throughout my life and every single one was an obstacle 

Every hurdle allowed me to grow and grow and grow 

At one point I didn’t see it that way 

I wanted to end it all, but I didn’t 

I’m glad I didn’t

They don’t deserve my tears, body, or any part of me 

I was never a kid, I had my innocence stolen from me 

It allowed me to grow and prosper into the person I am today 

That’s all I could ask for, to be here today and still keep growing.