Stoplight

When I was a child, I felt as if I was going down a road full of stoplights. Never knowing which one would stop me in my path. I have been stuck by more stoplights than people may know. Although these stops I have had to make along the way were not enjoyable, I know that I have learned things that will carry me into my future. At the age of two, you don't understand the world around you. You can't comprehend that the two most important people in your life are slipping away. Away from each other. And one of them, away from you. At the age of eight, you understand more than you used to. But you never knew that the one man you thought you could trust everything with, would break that trust. It seemed like the easiest thing he has ever done. As easy as it is to say "I'm fine" when you know it's a lie. Or fake a smile, so no one can see the hurt you feel inside. At the age nine, a different man stepped into my torn little world. He does not go by the name "dad". But he cared for me as if I was his own. My own father could never be replaced. But when I was hurt by the one I called "dad", this man was there for me. Every single time. Now, at the age of 17, I am still unable to fully understand the world. I never will. I know that things don't always go the way you want them to, and nothing will ever be perfect. I will never know why... Why someone would choose another man over his own children. Why someone would make no effort in seeing their only daughter. Why someone would be able to stand not seeing their child grow up and become the person she is today. Why? I'll never know. When someone so important to you leaves with only a small warning, there's hardly anything you can do. If I had known then what I know now, I would have chased after him. But the thing about life is, you can't predict the future. You just have to live day by day. Leaving my past behind is one of the hardest things I have ever done. But overcoming it is one of the greatest. Who knows what other stoplights will stop me along the way. But when they do, I know I'm strong enough to conquer them. Life isn't easy. It wasn't meant to be. I have learned to just live, enjoy the ride, and let the stoplights come my way. I've had struggles, but I've survived.