The Storm Called Lejourney

I’m going off the deep end trying to find my purpose, 

Am I even loved?

I ask myself because I’m feeling kind of worthless.

I take a long walk down memory lane

 imagining how great my life seemed to be before I lost my brain.

 Goofy, bubbly, happy they say I used to be. 

Their favorite, their number one star,

 the smartest who turned out to be their dumbest,

 the brightest before I became the light switch in everyone’s world

 bringing them darkness from the drama I created in their lives.

The bad type of drama

 that makes everyone who sees my face cringe

 from the ugliness they say lives within me.

They break me down like boxes 

and label me with the word mental. 

I count the pills and think about how quick it could end.

 I place each circular one in the glass of water, take one big gulp,

 and stand on the bridge

 knowing that I will be done with life within a couple of hours, 

and also knowing that after the pills take control of my body 

the sharks will finish me off.

I think about how the storms I caused would cease abruptly 

as I take my last breath. 

I know the sun will shine bright and a colorful rainbow will appear in the sky

 letting the ones I’ve shamed know that the storm has ended, 

and their lives could never be destroyed again by a curse named Lejourney ever again.