Story of My Life

Constantly surrounded by bodies…constantly feeling alone Never had many friends but there’s always associates A definite people person, I thrive just for the presence of others (any other) Associates: I need them Their company provides an escape from my reality A new start awaits with each I encounter My friends: I love them They provide comfort in my catastrophic moments They know me; not just my name and what I look like And because of they know so much they’re full of compassion where I’m concerned Our times together are forever cherished and stored in my rather larger memory bank But none of this can change my inherent malfunctions None of them can fill the holes left by my childhood Not one of their smiles can erase my father’s expressionless face that matches his personality Not of our talks make my mother’s phony affections any less offensive Their attention does not make up for the attention they forgot to show me Our memories will never blackout the terrible memories I try so hard to suppress No matter how many “I love you” s I hear in the back of my mind I will always feel alone because the one who were supposed to love me the most never did it right Your advice does not compensate for the valuable lessons they were too busy to teach me To busy sulking in their own pain filled lives to raise the daughter they laid down to have I never asked to be your one last try to salvage your marriage I did not want to be the product of your unfortunate lives I would think all the pain you went through would make you try your best to love me and raise me right But I see now that was not the case. You didn’t know how. You were too dejected by your own sorrows. There’s no saving this broken child, torn apart by her parents and left to be put together by others But unlike them I refuse to let my malfunctions define me I refuse to let their impaired parenting skills destine me to be miserable So I accept my predetermined malfunctions and use them as stepping stones to my success, my happiness I take this broken child, who grew to be a lonely girl, and I will make her an exceptional woman