Story Problem 64

Years after forsaking algebra, Elizabeth Kay finds comfort in numbers, discovers fathers can be proven through mathematical equation. Total years spent buying run-free tights, canvas split-soles, the yards of toe shoe ribbon necessary to get her from Pointe A to B: 13 Factoring back-to-back performance nights, total number of recitals attended within that time span: 26 Average duration of each show: 3.5 hours Total audience hours logged over the course of his girl’s childhood: 91 Amount of life he spent waiting for her in a half-broke, hard-back seat, stuck in the soundtrack of a small town ballet, the real show staring babies crying in darkness, stage-mom divas fighting for front row viewings, middle school ballerinas searching for direction, high school jazz girls searching for attitude adjustments complimentary percussion provided by the thump-thump-thump of toddler feet kicking seat backs to Disney tunes that will be heard for weeks, months, a lifetime, occasionally interrupted by horn-blasts from train tracks built much too close to an Podunk auditorium. In other words, amount of life spent clapping for the children of strangers: 88 hours Total amount of time his daughter actually spent onstage: approximately 4.5 hours Number of complaints, spoken or inferred: 0 Number of empty second-night seats: 0 Number of fervent prayers for a tomboy transformation: 0 Solve for Y.