Strength Lies Within Her Heart

Wed, 02/26/2014 - 15:45 -- TessiaD

In the mirror, I look up and stare at my reflection,

Oh, man, I saw this coming. What a recollection.

My makeup all smudged, all damp and out of line,

Huh, it matched the line I tried to draw when you were mine.

 

All jagged, torn apart, never respected at all,

The only thing that mattered to you was my defeat and downfall.

Well, here it is. You happy now? Now all my scars show,

I’ve had enough. Pack your bags. It’s time for you to go.

 

But you stayed with me, took my hand and cuffed it to yours,

I dont think you ever loved me. I could never be too sure. 

Because even though you said to me you wanted me so bad,

You would ignore me, and when I’d do the same, you’d end up oh so mad.

 

You'd get mad if I succeeded, or if I did something right,

If I hung out with friends, you’d never fail to call and pick a fight.

And if a boy ever seemed to take interest in me,

You’d say it’s my fault, then lock me up, you held the key.

 

And when I didn’t respond to multiple texts you’d send,

You’d send more, and harass me, with no sight of an end.

Never trusted, never believed in me, in anything I did,

I was a weak little girl to you, a helpless little kid.

 

Anything I did well, you’d rip up and tear me down,

Until you knew I had nothing left, and lay 6  feet in the ground.

You would push me around, and make fun of all my flaws,

You had full control over me; I had to follow all your laws.

 

Or else you would make sure I was the one that got hurt,

A painful silence for dinner, and then abuse for dessert.

As hurtful words spewed out, and sizzled on your tongue,

You would never stop fighting until you knew that you had won.

 

Then you paraded me around like I was your shiny, new prize,

I was nothing but an object in your sick, cruel eyes.

You acted like you owned me, touched me when I said no,

I had no say in anything, and you knew I’d never go.

 

Because you broke me down so you were the only thing I had,

You took away all of my friends, you made sure all my hopes went bad.

You made me hate my mom, and at her I’d scream and yell,

When all she was really trying to do was save me from this hell.

 

As you molded and formed me to be your minion,

Making sure I stayed broken with your endless opinion.

And you would always recommend that I should change who I am,

To dye my hair bleach blonde and go out and get a tan.

 

And when I spent time to dress up for you, and try to impress,

You would completely shut me down, you couldn’t care less.

So I tried to fight back, I fought hard for something more,

But you held on tighter until my wrists were bloody and sore.

 

Then one day, you said to me enough was enough,

And then dumped me and put away all of my stuff.

You thought that I was broken, all torn and shattered,

You thought that you were really the only thing that ever mattered.

 

But on that very day, I realized something brand new,

I realized that I really and truly didn’t need you.

As I looked in the mirror, and saw who I am,

A girl that is strong and doesn’t need a man.

 

And while I was gone, you change your damn mind,

And then called me up again, all sweet and oh so kind.

You acted like nothing bad had ever occurred,

You said you changed for the better, and you gave me your word.

 

But I am afraid that option isn’t really a choice,

To go back to you, because now, I have a voice.

Now listen to me, you hear and do what I say,

You’ve done all your damage, now get the hell away.

 

From me, my family, and all my new friends,

All this torment you have caused me must come to an end.

Because of you, my trust in boys is broken and impaired,

It makes me sick to think I actually believed you ever cared.

 

I face a barrier of anxiety about heartbreak and loss,

But don’t you dare think I am fragile and too weak to get across.

Look at me now, look at this masterpiece you’ve made:

A fighter who stands in front of you, taller and unafraid.

 

My duties now are clear, no girl that I ever meet,

Will feel like they are unloved, or deserve to be beat.

I will fight to change how every girl sees her figure and mind,

Reveal the strength within her heart; give eyes to she who is blind.

 

So I forgive you for all you’ve done to me.  I’m scarred but I am cured,

Of the unhappiness, and now, my dear, I have some final words:

I’ll forgive but never forget, I’ve had my final cry,

We are over, never come back, and to you I finally say goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Aim For Hope_21

What a beautifully written poem. It takes a lot of strength to forgive. I envy that kind of strength. 

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