For strength to stay alive.

Institutionalized hatred

Familial separation 

Finger to the trigger as I'm pacing
 
Contemplation of my place in the world
 
When faggots are doomed to damnation 
 
 
No amelioration of pain suffered
 
I thought my life was over 
 
When I lost my mother
 
Because her baby just couldn’t be 
 
One of them.
 
Him.
 
His scent envelops me
 
Arms wrapped tightly around my waist
 
belong.
 
No, I can't be gay
 
It's wrong
 
 
My family will disown me 
 
I'll get thrown out of my home - 
 
he, my father
 
won't even look at me 
 
Because raising a faggot 
 
Is the utmost atrocity.
 
 
Hypothesizing the lesser evil:
 
To live alone or live a lie
 
And praying, though my soul goddamned
 
For strength to stay alive.
 
 
 

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