Strong

Is this what you think I am? Strong? Can you not see past the fakeness of my smile? It is a fake lie. It is easy to see through. It isnt my fault I feel this way. You think it is? Walk at least one day with my mindset on life right now. Should I go? Who will honestly care? My so called friends? Or how about two shitty parents? Or a half-gone sister whom I hate with a passion. Yes, life is short, but I want to make it shorter. Strong is what some would call people like me who have been through hell and back and make it out alive. I am not that type of person. I am only strong to a point and right now, that point is nonexistant. It is no ones fault but mine. Do not blame yourself for my mistakes. I was probably the one mistake people tend to befriend. On the outside I am strong, but deep inside I am crying out for help. You might have seen the girl behind the mask once, if I wasn't prepared to handle the day. The one thing that is making me strong is my best friend, a razor blade. Yes, friends can be there, but not as well as it can be for me. Fear is a bitch to get over. Fear of running into feelings, fear of people knowing about my cutting, and the fear of failing. Do strong people fear for the worst?