Strong, Happy, Healthy

Dear Joshua, my Ex-Boyfriend,

I hope you are well, I hope that you are happy and healthy. I know I am beyond all of those things. You see, after you broke up with me I can admit for 4 months I was heartbroken and hurting and wishing you'd come back. But now, those dark, terrifying 4 months have passed and my life has never been better. I have realized so much about myself and about our past relationship and I would not change one thing. I realized that just because you called me beautiful, and smart, and caring did not mean without you I was no longer those things. Even before you, I was still those things and now without you, it seems even more so prevelant. I began to realize that you were toxic, you put your problems on me and somehow I was always the reason for these "problems" and I was somehow always in the same sentence with the words "crazy, sad, and insane". Although you called me all of those things, why did you stay? If you truly felt that this was true, why did you stay? For 10 long months you got really good at pretending to love me and putting in half effort. For 10 months, you really had me fooled into thinking you would be my forever, oh, and boy was I fooled; I really believed you when we talked about college, and houses, and even babies.

Maybe I was all of those things you called me; crazy, sad, and insane. But the reason I gained these labels was because of how you made me.

Now here I am, 4 months later, happier, healing, and growing each day. I have realized that who I am is a reflection of my thoughts and myself NOT a reflection of who you made me. I realized I gave up some of my best friends for you and the second you left I had no one to turn to. I have grown into an improved version of myself who no longer cares to know how you are doing or who you are talkng to now. I no longer care if you think about me at night or even glance at me in class. I no longer care what you think of me as you have no place in my life anymore and without you here, life is so much brighter and filled with so much more positiviy. A weight is off of my mind, heart, and shoulders. I am cleansed from the toxicity of you as a person and I have never been filled with more genuine happiness in my entire 17 years of living. 

In the end though, there is no hate or revenge, I really do wish you the best. I hope though with every new girl who is in your life you do remember the one girl who pushed you to be stronger and better and helped you improve every aspect of your life. And while you must reevaluate your decisions to lose me, I will be becoming the woman I am supposed to be the woman who is: strong, happy, and healthy.

Sincerely, 

Your Ex-Girlfriend Kendall