Strong is not strong

I tried to be strong

But strong is not strong,

And crying is not wrong

If it happened again I would be weak

I would not lie down and take it.

I would cry and weep

and make it impossible

 for you

for you  to mistake my silence.

Mistake my silence for enjoyment,

my limp limbs for submission.

I acted tough and I tried to be strong,

 quiet in defeat,

 thinking that it would make it stop

quicker,

that you might find less pleasure

if it felt less cruel.

I tried to be strong

But strong is not strong,

And crying was not wrong

I lift you know?

Hours in the gym

I AM STRONG,

But you beat me

My arms, my legs, my thighs. My heart.

And I only wish you knew

That I fear you

I fear that you can justify what you did to me.

I fear that you don’t realise what you’ve done.

The shame that I feel,

that I felt

when I had to get the morning after pill.

I wish that you felt that too,

and perhaps,

if I cried,

you would have realised.

I tried to be strong

But strong is not strong,

And crying was not wrong