The Struggle for Purpose

I don't know what would make me happy anymore,

I thought I had goals, but shit,

I don't know if they're worth fighting for

Is it worth fighting at all?

Just to watch yourself fall,

When you knew succeeding wasn't an option, 

But you still wanted it all,

So you kept grinding past the madness, and the darkness of this sadness,

But the truth is that the pain is,

Irreversible, and you will always feel the stabbing,

And the cutting through your heart,

It'll always tear you apart.

And just when you think you've healed,

It'll begin back at the start,

All of your stitches will unwind,

only in this crippling pain, will you find,

It doesn't get better, it's an illusion, all pretend,

The light that you see coming is just what kills you in the end.

Am I happy at my happiest? 

Or am I just the least sad?

Am I content when Im dreaming,

Or is it the only part thats not so bad?

Because I thought I figured myself out,

But it appears I've been had,

I don't know who I am

I'm scared,

I don't know what I am

Is there really a future for me,

Because now I'm not so sure,

Is there a someone I'm supposed to be,

Or am I supposed to build myself from this core?

Because the core's defective,

And anything I build on top will be reflective,

Of my past and I cannot escape it.

Believe me when I say, there's not an exit,

But I can laugh and pretend I think I'll make it,

Yeah, I'm okay, I think I'll make it