Struggling Mind

I see my life coming, I see my life going Its draining down the drain not that it seems too important. My life is stuck in misery, killing me like infantry but softly like them infants be. Lately, Ive been thinking maybe I should keep my chin up. Mama told me grin son, but how can I grin mom? My grandma probably dead huh? Guess ill go to bed now. Hard time sleeping when all you hear is guns pow. This is just another day in paradise, thoughts trapped in my head they won't unwind. Brainstorming like ParaMind. Are we real? Is this real? Where could we all have come from? How can god lift you up? But a gun can knock you down some? All over a few dollars and a medallion. Trying to live thru the wise word from Malcolm. but how can I see the outcome? If my grave is six feet under with no window to climb out from?