I find myself here again,
Stuck in this same place again.
Surroundings so familiar,
Foreign visions in the mirror.
How did I get here?
I thought I’d sworn to never return.
In my mind I’d made it so clear,
That never again would I feel this burn.

History is teaching me many things.
My failures functioning as instructions,
My pain creating a cynical, jaded being.
In my reflection, I see someone that I am not.
In my actions, I see someone I do not want to be.
I fear I am drowning in this alternate version.
I am thrashing and sinking in this unforgiving sea.
I need something, someone, to save me.

But history has taught me that I must save myself.
And in time, I’ll be my own hero,
My own knight in shining armor.
It will be a painful journey, although,
It seems the notion of pain is familiar.

History is teaches me that nothing is easy.
That one of the world’s rare treasures is simplicity.
It sits, mockingly so, just beyond your grasp.
Teasing you with promises of unbounded happiness,
And then revealing that its distance is masked.
I’ve come to realize that some things are simply out of reach.
That sometimes, no matter how much I give,
And no matter how easy it could be,
The inevitable rejection is an assured thing.
I’m no stranger to this feeling,
But it never fails to numb me.