Stuck

I was stuck.

Stuck in an endless cycle of destructive thoughts.

These thoughts controlled me for way too long.

I felt as if I had no control over how I viewed myself.

Like a foreign entity inside me was pushing any positive thought regarding my self-confidence out the window.

I wanted to stop the destructive thoughts.

I really did.

And I wanted to ask for help.

I just did not know how.

How do you tell someone that you hate the way you look?

Especially if it is someone you love and who loves you?

Today, I realize I never put myself in any position to receive help.

The demon inside would not let me accept and use it if it was offered to me.

I cannot pinpoint what exactly helped me out of this deep, dark abyss that I was stuck in.

I probably never will.

But, whatever it was, I am grateful for it.

I always will be.