Stuck in a Rut

Been this way,

Ever and an age,

Stuck in the headlights,

Yet it's the day.

Busy am I,

Tirelessly,

Making things work,

Unproductively.

Treading water,

Of a quick sand kind,

Barely aloft,

Finances are blind.

How this happened,

Not so sure,

Internal damage, 

Many years before.

Taking it's toll,

Weary soul,

Belief & Worth,

No longer at home.

Intellectually, can really see,

Whats its done to me,

Waiting around, to feel,

The love, from my mummy.

Pieces have I,

Fell to the floor,

Taking time, much energy,

Glue it back some more.

Wholesome and Fresh,

Longing to be,

Missing out,

Life's journey.

When the trumpet calls out my name,

Death reaches out,

Looks puzzled, 

Shakes his head.

Dumbfounded am I, over this way,

Asking Death his reasons,

Again,

Shakes his head.

Cling on to death, long cloth of he,

Begging,

Take me to the darkness,

Anything, away from this. 

"Live your life,

Truthfully",

The words he speaks, 

Assertively.

Shocked am I,

Revelation of this,

Death avoids me,

Alas, time too.......take risks.

Letting go,

History,

It's over,

No longer necessary.

Present am I,

All around,

Meditation helps,

Channels me now.

Clarity of thought, essential to be,

Focus on life,

Enjoy where I'm going,

This is funny.

Calming down, 

What it took,

Out of head,

Running amock.

Growing my empire,

Thinking this way,

Heart felt desire,

Avoided - until this day.

At mid point,

Body clock of me,

Only now,

Path to be.

Using wit, charisma,

Sharp, savvy - I can see,

What is ahead, 

Feels like, life is starting to be.