The student body

Sometimes I wonder what’s really going through my teachers’ head when they tell me or my peers we can be anything we want to be. 

Do they really see us as future doctors and lawyers?

And how am I supposed to believe in myself if I hear the whispers 

“That kid is always so behind in my class, what about yours?”

“He must be going through something at home because he never turns in his homework” 

Where is the enthusiasm? Where is the color is our black and white classrooms? 

I am trying to keep my eye on the prize, my mind trails off into places of anxiety and doubt. Feeling like I will never be as prepared as my neighboring schools. 

Then I wonder if the real root of the problem is the school system 

And I know you’re tired of me complaining but I have to get this out 

I’m tired of this one shoe fits all system,  

Not every student learns the same. 

Our textbooks taunt and tease us about how we do not have the attention span to diligently study or function that early in the morning. 

And all the stress put on the amount each student is worth,

When on the other side of the equation a student is contemplating whether it is worth it or not. 

Because we have real life doubts and fears about going to college but are afraid to speak up in fear of judgement. And were afraid to go to college in fear of failure, and we stop and ask ourselves, “after college what’s next?” Because I shower every day but I can’t seem to wash this fear of failure of my skin. 

It’s a cause and effect, cause and effect. We have to go to school so that we can be smart, so that we can get a good sat score, so that we can get into the world’s best college

But the sat is just a stupid… annoying test. 

I’ll admit, I’m scared that after everything I will look back and say “I could have done something differently” 

It’s not until we finally breathe, and splash the cold water in our faces and realize that the school we go to does not define us. My school is not who I am. My school work does not define how intelligent I am. My school doesn’t have a second floor but I am a human who is layered with personality and style. I’m not going to wait for the day that I want to do things differently. I’m going to change things now. Then maybe one day I can make a change to the way the school system is. Or maybe I can give back to my community. But I will never just be my school. I am me and you are you.