Suddenly

Suddenly I realised something.

Something that I had been waiting for for so long.

After weeks of Moping.

I was over him.

No. Not over him, but I Accepted it. I almost feel free.

Free of the red string, of the limitations.

I know that he still holds value to me, he always will.

But for now, I’m okay with what its become.

I may not talk to him, but we acknowledge each other.

With my hair back he spoke brazenly. Leading us into small talk.

It almost felt like three weeks ago never happened. But it did, and I ached at the thought.

I miss those times, when I had a reason to win, to hold my tongue. 

I know now that I can still do these things that I believed were because of him. 

I can write, I can build, I can fight and I can win. 

I can do these as to say “ Im better now”. So that he doesn’t look at the changed me.

So that he can see the version He’s always known, the one who isn’t shaken.