Suffering Through the Pain

“I’m alone and I don’t even care anymore.”

Is what I have convinced myself.

 

When can I stop pretending?

My world is crumbling around me, while my heart is breaking.

This isn’t happening.

I must be dreaming, they wouldn’t do this to me, right?

“I don’t want them to leave me. I DON’T WANT THIS TO END!”

They betrayed me, they’re the ones that really broke me.

How could they do this to me?

I thought of them as friends, as FAMILY!

What have I done?

What did I do to deserve this?!

NOTHING!

I’ve been the perfect friend, one that followed their every command.

Why do they constantly treat me as a welcome mat, walking all over me?

I didn’t deserve any of this.

I’m getting so tired of pretending and lying, it is not helping anything.

Why doesn't anyone notice?

Notice that I’m crying and dying on the inside.

They wonder why I smile so much, it's because I don’t want you to know what I’m really feeling.

I try to put on a brave face just to stop myself from crying.

The jagged lines across heart remind me every day that I don’t have friends that care.

The makeup I put under my swollen eyes proves how much I cry myself to sleep.

 

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