The suicide note

Why does my life have to be so complicated . I wish I could just end it just as I started it because in my eyes my life is worth taking and death touches my shoulder day and night as my thoughts grew even depressing and my heart turns into dust as my soul freezes in time chained to purgitory between the heavens and hell but as for myself I know if I finish this task I will face the hurt and pain of eternal flames deep within the earth. Is this what I've come to am I giving up too easily can I just. Live for it breath the air and intake the water and herbs the earth grow or shall I just have cold hands days after I've passed as my skin rotts and my bones decay and the insects feast offmy body my decisions are made up see ill cut out my tounge and seal the lips which words escape from and as my voice slowly silences itself. Born to a mother who feels and look at you as a burden . Cursed and nolonger considered apart of her pact. Alianized constantly forgotton and a cloud of disturbing pain and agony, misunderstanding,and hatred. Lost of connection and envied by all . But as for your father broken into shattered pieces of glass left you to die in a dessert a mission of 18 yrs where he belives its the right time to interact but you pull youself back and now you've lost both of your parents and pushed to shelters of family members and your thinking to yourself as if you'll never forgive so answer this question why shall I live?