The Sun Warmed Up To Me

Victoria: The empties... I chased those little blurbs behind glossy eyes and shaking lips i chased them... those little moments of indecision and doubt that occupy the space between the walls on my train of thought I chased them... I caught them The stirrings... A twinge in the gut that lets you know now is a moment you won’t ever forget for the rest of your life I felt them... The same force that makes you climb a mountain and tells you to jump off is the same force that draws you to that stranger that walks in like quiet beauty like the dawn creeping I felt them... I have them... A feeling... I saw it form in the corner of your eye, a force so powerful that it could liquify eternity and turn it into the milk you poured in your breakfast cereal that you ate every childhood morning as you watched your parents fight I saw it... Remember the time that you scraped your knee and you were frightened cause you thought you would bleed But nothing came out! It never wanted to leave you! Like dawn: The morning sun came to see you But you lie in your bed like a waster of good mornings but its all in your head. Its just a feeling... Just a feeling... Its just a feeling that stirs you and blurs you Makes you think that you’ll die But your life is yours and you are mine it’s a feeling reeling, stealing you into the back of your room where you thought you would bloom And the lamp on the table casts your shadow on the wall as if you were only a girl but you are just a rose growing through the cracks in your floorboards So maybe now when the feeling comes stirring you’ll be reeling me in and let the empties drown in the sound of yourself laughing in the dark when you remember where you’ve been maybe then you’ll see yourself bloom but look at the shadows all around; just a series of crooked petals and thorns and i wish that i could hold you! But you would just prick me! so perhaps it you? perhaps its me its the feeling or the reeling or the walls that are empty Or maybe its the blurb on the corner of the screen on every childhood movie you watched as you cried yourself to sleep we could just rewind and remember the beginning when things were just starting and you were just feeling you arms and toes stretch and crack on the bed when you were just stirring and blurring and reeling it in and stealing the breath that you could see when it was cold out and it nipped at your cheeks or we could just replay it all and let it go over and over til we know all the words and hide in the shadows under a fort of blankets that helped you sleep when daddy hit mommy and you weren’t just a rose! Or we could runaway and create something new a world for sinners more than just us two i cant dream of a moment when you werent there for me and in the morning the dew on your petals i looked forward to seeing Or maybe they were just tears left over from the night before when your weeds grew and dug into the floor but dont wilt on me now! no not just yet you cant you’re my bestfriend, heartache, matching set just a list of things that we shan’t forget and i wouldn’t change it all no never a goddamn thing! but perhaps we’ll look back and realize that the morning sun was rising while our childhood was setting I was in the garden watching you wilting and break down all the walls you spent your time building your shadow grew large in the afternoon and shaded those around you whose ties felt binding shaded us when the sun was too blinding and the wind blows and licks your fragile petals off we’re getting older oh my god! i think we’re getting colder! no it just can’t because you are the sun, the stars and every inch of sky that towers over me when i think im gonna die when our lives are ours and you’re still mine so keep on stealing and reeling the sun to the back of your room and your petals flake off as you collapse to the floor you’re no longer a rose cause you have always been so much more.