The Sun Will Rise Again

by Awkward Turtle

October 2, 2016

Logically thinking, I know everything is

Alright and there's nothing happening, yet my mind's still racing

The attack really shook me

I know that I need to distract myself from all the

Pain held inside, and I try, but I'm starting to break

There's no way to escape

I'm tired but fighting to face it in Silence

But stress just keeps rising, it's too much, I just want to Scream

But I can't, cause that's "Mean"

I know that I'm innocent and haven't done any wrong

But "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I can't seem to stop

Please Help Me, Dear God

They tell me "Think Logic, Think Logic, Think Logic"

I see it, I know it, please stop it, I've had it, Enough!

I’m too tired to be Tough

I find myself running from fears in my Life,

But I know if I stop I'll be caught and just turn into stone

In the dark all Alone

“Please just Leave Me Alone”

I know all I need is to sleep and recover for

Morning and go back to Life, but I'm too scared to sleep

Almost can't even Blink

I’m crying and broken, can’t walk out the door

But as soon as I’m hitting the couch I look up and just Ghost

Lost all sense of Control

I think of my life and the battle of Focusing

Not on the bad, not the noise, not the world, Just on Me

Don’t Move, I need to Breathe

I fidget, I Spook, I’m so easily Jumpy

Don’t do good with people or noises or corrupted hearts

Always tell them apart

The minutes go by and I lose track of time

But at some point, I don’t know, but some point I start to get up

I no longer feel Stuck

These visions of color, music, and love wake me

Up in ways no one can explain and they fill me with Hope

Telling Death ‘We say Nope’

My muscles are sore and my vision is blurry but

Still I start rising up, looking up, gaze into Space

Feel the warmth on my face

The sigh leaves my body, my strength comes back to me

I smile in Joy and Whisper “The Sun Will Rise Again”

“The Sun Will Rise Again”

“The sun Will Rise Again”

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Awkward Turtle

I'm currently a Freshmen in College and am pursuing Musical Therapy as my long term goal in Life. I battled Depression through my Sophomore Year into the end of my Junior year of High School, and finally overcame it and am living my life discovering new ways to battle my Anxiety in positive ways and learning new ways to Love Myself for who I am. I have Chromo Synesthesia, meaning I associate colors to Music, Letters, and Numbers. The world around me is so Different from the way everybody else experiences it, and I never started writing Poetry until this past May, when I discovered it being a new Outlet for my Anxiety. I'm hoping if all else fails in my Life, these first hand experienced emotions and stories I tell in my poetry will impact someone's life and give them Hope for the Brighter Future they have ahead in their Life.

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Comments (1)

Awkward TurtleFeb 20, 2017

<p>This Poem is telling of the Struggles I face each day between Anxiety and Depression, and how much I've wanted to give up so badly in Life. But some how or other I always find myself still waking up to a new sunrise and a beautiful dawn, telling myself "This is gonna be a better day". I still to this day don't know what causes this Resilience in my soul to continue going through each day, the stakes of going into an Attack changing each and every day, even within hours of a day. Maybe it's God's Voice calling me and lifting me up again and again eahc morning He stays with me. Maybe it's my stubborn defiancy that gets me into trouble most of the time in life. Maybe it's the loved ones in my life who may not know how much I struggle, but still value them greatly and don't want to bring them pain or let them down. Hell, maybe it's just because Cats and Dogs are a Thing in thsi world and I love animals so damn much because they're snuggly and cute to have with me. Whatever this reason is, I know I've once been compared to that of a bouncey ball; no matter how hard I get slammed against a wall or floor, I always bounce back with the same powerful, boyant, joyful outlook on life, ready to take on any and all challenges Life has to toss at me (punpunpun). I encourage all of you out there who struggle with any sort of Emotional/Mental/Physical Illness/Disorder/Disabilities,and to all Suicidal Warriors who score points against Death's Calling with each day you keep breathing,  Never Give Up! You are not alone, regardless the lies whispering and swirling through your minds telling you you're nothing of this world! You Are Loved, Valued, and Heroes to other people's lives whether you realize it or not! You're All Heroes, Fighting Your Battles and defeating your demons with each day you smile, sing, laugh, and love! </p>

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