sunflowers

when i first met you, i was was alone in the dark,

but you found me, and you placed me in the sun.

you planted seeds in my spine, and as you watched them grow,

you never seemed to notice how my back was slowly breaking.

Everyday i could feel their roots growing,

and i could feel your grasp tightening.

you always held onto me, you always kept me with you.

but one day i told you it was hard to breathe

when the roots were in my lungs and your hand was holding my heart,

but you told me it was okay,

because "what is love without pain?"

once those flowers bloomed, you plucked them from my back

and with them, their roots,

and now i cannot seem to stand.

but they weren't right, they weren't good enough for you.

"sunflowers?" you asked,

"i wanted daisys. why aren't they daisys?" you screamed.

you told me i grew them wrong, even though you were the gardener.

i watched as the flowers fell from your hands,

and as they hit the ground, so did my heart.

now all i could see was your back moving farther away

as your footsteps crushed my sunflowers.

i thought you could take care of me.

i thought you could nourish and revive me.

but you never wanted a garden, you never wanted to see me grow.

and when i think about it, love was never painful for you.

and why was it my fault when they were you seeds to begin with?

and why are you angry when you ripped them away from me?

did you plant them in my spine so you wouldnt have

to look me in the eye when you abandoned me?

you never loved me, and i didnt even love myself.

so now i am my own gardener,

and no one will ever pick my flowers.

when someone comes along,

they can look and see and plant their own seeds

if they want,

but no one will ever steal from me again.

that is not love.

love isn't a gardener and a planter,

it's two gardeners growing together.