deadbeat.

dead weight.

static on the screen

channel change-

buy your happiness

for three easy payments

of $19.99

you need this in your life

spend spend spend

are you still content?

consume more content,

couch potato.

crunch- crumbs on the couch

new show!

live vicariously through

white upper middle class wives

buy buy buy

be like them

less like you, couch potato,

capitalistic consumer,

creator of jobs.

this is america-

praise the rich

piss on the poor-

buy more

work hard

save up for a little house

with a white picket fence

and small yard

can’t afford it?

refinance your mortgage. 

flip to the news,

you’re being used,

couch potato.

they’re taking your

hard earned dough-

and sending it to 

Mexico.

“yo amo a mi familia,

mas que nada-”

means

“I want to steal your job

& make your family suffer”

someone is responsible for

this economy-

not me-

watch the tv

it’s them.

pause.

coffee break-

eyes fuzzy, 

caffeine injection

body shakes,

back to the couch-

hungry?

stop by our restaurant

operated by our employees,

barely making ends meet, but-

we’ve got the meats.

eat eat eat

aren’t you hungry?

yeah? well cut it out,

couch potato!

try these pills to 

suppress those cravings- 

no more crunchwrap supremes!

get the body of your dreams,

first month free!

(and then there’s

a $45 monthly fee)

but at least you’ll be 

s k i n n y

and they’ll all call you

p r e t t y

…………………………..

-signal lost-

…………………………..

-redirect-

…………………………..

-redirect-

…………………………..

get rid of cable,

and upgrade to direct tv

upgrade your iphone XR

get 5G-

better than 4G

bragging rights,

boast to your friends-

you’ve got the most

money to spend.

nike-

adidas-

gucci

supreme-

show off your brands,

the american dream

support the means

of production,

couch potato.

make

jobs jobs jobs

buy more.

buy more.

buy more.

fuck the poor!

taxation is theft!

you earned that money-

with minimum wage,

you just got paid?

time for an upgrade

we stopped selling parts

for your old phone,

time for something

new new new

hair, makeup, nails-

make yourself

a new person

trick your friends 

into thinking you’re

five years younger!

tired of diets

and exercise routines?

tummy tuck!

you’re in luck,

couch potato-

fix your self-esteem 

for just a few thousand bucks!

want one, but….

don’t think you can?

we have payment plans!

get more.

get more.

get more.

trick your followers

into thinking you’re not

poor.

you have that clout-

credit card

0% APR

t i m e 

r u n n i n g

o u t

time for a NEW CARD.

is keeping track

getting hard?

that’s okay!

you’ll be in debt,

anyways-

that college degree?

it wasn’t free-

you’ll pay it back for

e t e r n i t y

THIS JUST IN!

BREAKING NEWS!

scientists made pills

that kill your blues,

come on, couch potato-

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for three easy payments

of 19.99

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