Superhero

I don't know if she was born in this country if her middle name starts with a J if she played hopscotch with her friends when she was 11 I don't know much more than that she came from New York But you never know that much about superheroes Michele you are my therapist anonymous in the crowd right now but I'm calling you out Michele, thank you 'Cause every tear you shed feels like victory like validation like the abuse isn't all I can be like the ghost limbs that still trace my skin will give way to new memory Like that time we both sat in silence.... our faces, canyons tears tracing predetermined routes down our cheeks as we both sat and focused on just breathing....... I've never felt so safe the way you hold my history in your hands but it's a burden you take kindly not accepting but extracting eyes calmly attentive hanging on to each word I say like ice cream liquefying on a hot day you catch every word as it drips from my tongue and each glance I cast to my past is a nightmare you pull me away from you ask me where I go when I stare into the distance in a room 6 feet long I traverse back to the carpet it's softness juxtaposed to the cruelty of his body in me images of his erectness will always stain my first bicycle ride without training wheels but it's okay as okay as it can be cause you heard it when it first surfaced you cried as you read everything I just wanted to forget I pleaded to forget please just let me forget the way he felt my chest like it contained a treasure worth stealing my innocence for like I wasn't just a snowman melting under the pressure my mother's son like 7 years old was woman enough to understand........ You cried tears of sympathy composed of understanding of tragedy you told me that my childhood was pickpocketed from me I didn't know when it left and suddenly it wasn't there But your arms were, caressing me like the wind gently bearing me into the future still I tell you I hate everything that I am that I've never been in love only been used like tissues for a bloody nose I tell you that I am disgusting will never be able to maintain a relationship that I am broken beyond repair like the way I've sprained my ankle so many times the joints are likely to pop easily I pop back to the carpet easily to the blue lights on Wednesday nights to his hands on my tummy You tell me I am beautiful that I will have meaningful relationships with partners that place their fingerprints over mine as a sign of unity you tell me my body is not a battlefield for memory and that I deserve to feel safe as I stand here It's not your responsibility to cradle me it's in your job description to listen but you exhibit this care willingly and I absorb it like whitewater sinks into sand upon coming ashore you feel like you're the only person trying to protect me And a year from now I'll be leaving your nest and I'm scared shitless but please know that I'll make it on my own only because you've showed me how to leap into flight proud, wings glistening as I feel survival beneath my feathers You've guided me through my history so many times that I've learned how to taste my words You've held my hand and now I'm halfway between breath and breathing I want you to know from client to therapist from 17 years old to the age of wisdom from my pulse to yours that in the most professional way possible..... I love you.