Surf to Destination Goner

In a too familiar whim of feeling drowned,

I jump onto this raft that manifests

in the water in front of me.

I pray it's enough to support me,

but with the long absence of hesitation,

I paddle anyway.

I battle each wall of blue toppling over me

as if it's my last fight.

I fight,

and fight,

and paddle, 

and paddle,

until I realize I'm a mile past the waves.

I collapse breathless on the raft.

I lie there for an eternity

with my limbs dangling over into the endless depth.

The ripples pulling me further into emptiness

are delicate and persistent.

As I marvel at the perfect combination

of colors where the sky meets the ocean,

I sing "I'm a goner" over and over again.

I close my eyes listening to the water caress the raft.

I open my eyes and find myself more lost

than I have ever been,

and nothing has felt more right.

Being lost in blue.

It feels right.

I'm a goner.