Surface

I imagine that I am warm. The jet hair on your arms I nestle in should be proof enough. I shrug off the nip and slide into your spacious body cavity. Ward away the seeping light. I say I want to hide from the world with you in our human fort forever But the cracks in your care let the light in anyways and reveal my fears of reality: goosebumps line my surface I do not vasodilate beneath my skin. You may make adrenaline cascade and throb but the icicle intent of your fingers leaves my blood robbed of Golden conditions. The reality of these hills and the truth behind these shivers which wake me in your embrace cut deep to the sternum. You reach, but not with a cold cardiac ba-boom Rather the simple disinterest in what lies beyond my skin. Shifting, pride wounded, I consider creeping from your cavity, a cavern of a person I’ve climbed into! even to get to know. My breastbone, spliced, is now prepped to be explored but you only ever touch the obvious goosebumps. My cheek twitches, a lingered brush of frost as we part. Your cavity is zipped up. Tread aways away, find another. Different situation, different weather. Conversation distance. Arms length. Elbows bent. Collar grasped. I am a part of That again. Apathetic on this path we hold each other. My medial bone break is stitched and covered. But as we walk, together, though under the impression of opposing paradigms, I see you become more like me. Innocence and endorphins flow down the gradient - away. Indifference and chill wear away at your cavity ~ I never entered. Only upon routine cleaning, I peel the bandage away. Sternum stitches still stay clasped but condensed air breathes through the darned suture. A vapor chilled to the point of passivity bathes you in lethargy. Dangerous, is the listless heart, frostbitten and anesthetized. The stringy muscle which pumps its ba-bump is neither cold nor dead but rather so callous it spreads its dispassion continuously. I might have apologized before you infected me with this aloofness so potent.