Surprised

I guess "surprised" is putting it mildly,

but I can't quite explain how I felt 

when I found out my old roommate had died 

by herself in the middle of the night.

She was only here for a month

before she left the school,

and I guess I knew she was unhappy,

but I never guessed what she would do.

She drove out to the woods 

and walked amongst the trees

and ended her life 

without a soul to see.

And I can't seem to stop crying,

imagining her that night,

feeling so hopeless

she stopped wanting to be alive

Now I'm sitting in my room

thinking of all I could've done

to make things better here

so she might not have gone.

And I know it's not my fault,

and I shouldn't carry this weight,

but I can't help the feeling

that I failed her in some way.