surrender

When a compromise becomes a surrender like a twig my insides break in two and im unstable again to surrender my pride and my feelings i know to be true is one thing but to surrender my heart to you something i promised myself id never do has broken more than the organ that gives me life see when my compromises turn into surrenders my mind is on a constant repeat of how i got to be submissive to sweep uneasy feelings under the rug and hope you don't feel the bumpiness when you get home i begin to question my morals and my standards for myself when did i become this passive submissive female yearning for thel ove of someone when did i become the girl waiting by the phone and is that all ill ever be? why when i compromise does that make you happy victory all in the creases of your smile, why do i need to be a lesser version of myself to appease this relationship When my compromises became my surrender i felt it like my heart skipped a beat and two stones fell into my shoes immobilizing me and as my heart feels like its falling and i can do nothing but watch i begin to wonder when did that one compromise become a surrender of myself