Swallowing pride choking on bravery

I start to feel pride within myself

The rolling boil of frustration comes to a stil stop

But I feel a chilling wind of fear graze my neck sending shivers down my spine

I lock myself away

I tuck my head under my blanket of security 

I stay there in place, day and night

At night I dream of fantasies of acceptance where I am freely fully me

But when the sun rises I am faced to awaken to my nightmare of reality

While the day passes by I ease into a trance of possibilities of where I open the door with my key of brutal honesty that makes this reality have humanity to my sexuality 

My frustration boils over the pot ignited by the fires of my rage

The need to help lead my fellow friends whispers in my ear

I am filled with the power of rage

And as I pull the blanket off and reach for door 

I realize I am barren with bravery

And empty with courage

And once again all I have is fear crammed down my throat silencing me once more.