The sweet old lady

She gave a lollipop.

The sweet lady at work that always gave me advice and called me "baby" and "love" gave me a lollipop, outstretching her hand out to me while saying "come on you deserve it you work so hard" I took it with a smile on my face gladly thanking her.

What a sweet thing to do...so sweet 

Yet so evil. 

I shoved the lollipop deep in the pocket of my work vest and try to forget about it but how could I when each time I bent down to pick up a box I feel the plastic stick jab my side like a silly reminder. The plastic stick connected to the calorie sugary filled ball...my biggest enemy that I try and try so hard to ignore the plastic stick almost mocking me with each bend. 

I tried...I ate it. It's just a lollipop right? Then why am I filled with guilt and rage?  Then why do I hate myself so much more after eating it afraid of the consequences to come?

I know why but I know how to hide it, all people saw was a sweet old lady giving me a lollipop.