The Swipe Left Goddess

Listen up children, to what I say 

The story of a goddess, who learned how to change 

Just listen closely and I’ll set the scene 

A cloudy October day in two thousand thirteen.  

It’s here we meet the Goddess of Love 

Queen Aphrodite, with truly none above. 

With a dazzling smile, and hair golden yellow 

Her radiate beauty, could turn lovers to Jello  

But with the turn of the century she found 

That the lack of connection was profound 

Where once love blossomed like a flower at dawn 

Were people no looking, all tied to their phone 

The Goddess of Love found a woman, unlike one she’d met before 

But getting her to love was such an arduous chore 

Person after person, she sent to the girl 

But no emotional connection would ever uncurl 

So, the goddess herself walked onto the earth 

The sun burned brighter; the flowers danced with mirth 

Yet still the girl didn’t notice 

So, Aphrodite sent her a lotus 

With her head in her phone, she didn’t quite see 

The flower that rested, just left of her knee 

Her true love waiting within its blossom 

A perfect person, that for her, would be awesome 

She felt her power slipping away 

“I’m a god,” she whispered. “I can’t be held at bay.” 

But what could she do in the world of tech? 

Her lack of power made her a nervous wreck. 

Too weak to return to her godly form 

Inside of her head, and idea was born 

“She’s so glued to her phone, she won’t notice me 

But what if I made something she could see.” 

So, she called up her husband, a gear head at heart 

To help create an “app” so she could start 

Her personal business, that no one could hinder 

“I know,” she said. “I shall call it Tender.” 

“Their phones aren’t distractions, just merely a tool 

To connect them with people through work and through school 

Just like the old days, with a modern twist 

They can chat someone up with a flick of their wrist.” 

She pushed out the idea, selling ad space for love 

Soon her app soared, way up above 

Sitting at number one, Aphrodite found her calling 

A matchmaking service, that only needs installing 

The girl installed it, and was met with just merry 

Such beautiful words from Tom, Luke, and Perri 

“Hey.” “What’s up?” “DTF?” 

She met a policeman, a vet, and even a chef 

However, eventually, true love found it’s way 

“Hey girl, you’re hot,” was all he needed to say 

The both had swiped left, and she really loved this mister 

Until she found him in bed, having sex with her sister 

Some matches are random, and some don’t work out 

It’s all part of her plan, there’s no need to doubt 

So, when you swipe left, or super like that dude 

Remember Aphrodite helped you get screwed 

She can bless you swipes, and bring you good luck 

Just remember, on the first date, there’s no need to fuck 

So bless her name loudly, there’s truly no one above 

Aphrodite, the Swipe Left Goddess of Love