I am not stupid.

I am not st

I am not

I am

I am.

I am stupid.

 

 

Scribbled scrawlings of a

student stuck in this

system we call

school.

Because somewhere he started believing

what those red marks told him must be true.

"D" as in disgrace.

"F" as in failure.

 

We've created a system in which a number defines intelligence.

Except that it doesn't.

Letters and numbers and facts and dates when memorized

Are letters and numbers and facts and dates.

And that is all.

But

How many points does he get for lying awake at night

Staring at the stars and wondering about

How the world works

And asking

How many eyes looked up at the same stars

And what were they thinking of

And in a world so chaotic

What if they were just searching

For something constant

Tell me, what does he earn for such thoughts?

 

How many points does the girl get

For learning the patterns of the forest

And knowing

That tree rings represent seasons, years,

And that the hooded jays only come when the air starts to cool,

And that the creek will only stay frozen

until the sunlight kisses the forest floor once more.

Tell me, how many points for her knowledge?

 

And how many points for the boy that says only what needs to be said

Concisely

And knows the power of words

And wields them expertly.

Tell me, what grade does his wisdom get him?

 

You protest, these are not intelligence,

What are they then?

Is what we learn in school more important?

What does school teach?

What do students learn?

They learn to define themselves by a number.

Or a letter.

And sometimes

They learn to define their value by a number.

Or a letter.

By stressing result,

Not process,

You create a culture of desperation and stress

In which we do whatever needs to be done

To meet your standards

To scrape by the system

It is understood

That we are all battling

A system

And when people tell me

I'm so much smarter than they are,

I tell them it's not true.

And I mean it.

Because your system

Doesn't measure anything.

Except how hard you studied

Or how good your memory is

Or whether or not you slept the night before

Or whether or not you had time to do your homework

 

You have taught us one thing: to fear failure.

 

And we fear it so much that we learn to parrot back your letters and numbers and facts and dates.

 

Your letters and numbers don't measure our intelligence,

They measure our fear.

If I were to measure intelligence,

Or better, wisdom,

I would not measure using points.

But, if I did,

I'd give

points to the star gazers for their thoughts

points to the watchers for their patterns

points to the word masters for their wisdom

and points to the student for having the strength to try

even when the odds are not in our favor.

 

Instead of teaching us so we earn points

Teach us so we learn