Tainted & Elusive

Where are you? A cloud A black mist Swarming my thoughts Poisoning my soul Piercing my mind My heart My body Sifting through my feelings Juggling them like a clown Always up in the air Never sure Always Hidden Hiding Deceiving Lying I want you here With me All of you But all I ever see Hear Or know of you Is a mask A facade A false front I close my hand around nothing Clench my fist The air slips away I'm left holding myself Like I always do I reach for you You seep away Back into the shadows Maybe you were there Maybe you are here But why do I feel like I'm suffocating?