Tainted flowers

You saw through my beauty
I wasn't ordinary
You picked me up and told me
You're special
I believed in it the same way i believe
Stars look at us in jealousy because we were together
And just like a meteor falling from space i fell for you with a burning destruction that would disintegrate all the things i hate about you
They were ten
One
I hated your smile , it had the power to make my heart get stuck in my throat and i finally found out how you gave me hiccups
Two
I hated the way you told me i was special and made me smile
Three
I hate the way you try to make me jealous with other guys that don't even have your heart
Four
I hate the way you make me feel like the center of your world but leave me the same way astronauts left their flag on the moon you deserted me
Five
I hate the way you could sing, mostly because it made me believe you're the reason why angels exist
To listen to your voice
Six
I hate the way you act like you have your shit together, but I guess you knew I'd be there to come clean up after you
Seven
I hate the way you told me you love me
You made me feel like i was a wet tissue covered in the loneliness of of a forgotten promise
I remember the bluntness of your monotone spear you threw straight to my heart and somehow I still believed there was good in you
Eight
I hate the way i couldn't stop loving you
Nine
I hate the way ten is going to sound like i still need you
But you were toxic
Ten
I hate the way i miss you , your laugh, your smile, your heart
I hate the way you cheated on me
But mostly i hate the way i still need you .
~Haneen Seckam