Tainted Roots

Daddy, 

You’ve gone far too soon...

Leaving me with a crumbling world which mockingly mimics the earth that rained over top of your eternal bed.  

And as I watched you be laid to rest. I’m reminded of the words I allowed myself to bury and the pain I clung to so that your feeble body would not have to. 

But oh, how I wish you knew...

I wish you knew that your precious baby girl fell victim to devilish hands. I wish you knew about how he boasted over his victory, plastering “dreams really do come true” for the world to see. 

I struggle to find my footing in this fatherless reality. I desperately clutch on to habits that only seem to bear rotten fruit. I have foolishly allowed their seeds to take root.

They have poisoned my mind and tainted my heart. 

"Daddy am I still your little girl?", I plead. I receive no answer. 

Instead, defeatededly I ask myself, "what would Daddy want me to do?" 

"What would Daddy want me to do?"

"What would Daddy want me to do?"

I chant and scream those words until they begin to pluck away at these rancid roots. 

And as the roots that once controlled me wither away. Slowly, I change. 

The bottles I once drowned myself in, now collect dust.

The blunts my lungs once confided in have dwindle to ashes. 

I have willing left behind all that no longer serves me.

"Daddy am I still your little girl? Please answer me", I plead.

"No, you are now a Queen.", He joyfully sings.