Take me back

I look at you and want so bad

To have you without shame

I want to be like them 

But I see you and turn away

I look at them and I see the beauty 

I look at me and see imperfection

They visit when they want

I visit when it's time

It's always time

And never time

No in between 

or I just can't find it

Looking just makes you worse 

You're just so intimidating 

And you love everyone 

Everyone but me, of course

My body suffers at your hand

It grows frail and weak 

Hair falls and hand go cold 

Yet I still can't face you

No one ever noticed 

When I pushed you aside

Or made excuses not to see you

For I am a master in this game of chess

Or so I thought 

Until you showed me

I was wrong, I can not handle it

Now I suffer in silence

Silenced by the fear of doubt

Silenced by the fear of disbelief

How could someone like me hate you?

I don't fit the image to a T

I'm the opposite of their thoughts

And don't look the way I should

To fit the standard of your enemy

But I do the role of your best friend

Please take me back again 

I can't keep running from you

It's tearing me apart too much 

I can not continue this way

We can work together

Create a solution too

I'll stand up to you

And conquer this

Just don't give up on me

I'm recovering I swear

You won't even notice I was gone

When I find the relationship we had before