talking to the void

At first I looked at you with this hopeless ambition 

This thing that I knew it would be ok 

I started out looking at you with confidence and this unwavering conviction you couldn't corrupt me  

But then I lost myself 

I lost my confidence  

I became a void

And you swept in to fill me up 

You let me believe that you were a friend 

That what we did at night was just a way to blow off steam 

That every time you helped me it would make the problem go away 

And then all of the sudden 

I didn't know if it would be ok 

I didn't know who I was 

And it scarred me 

So I made sure I counted every scar you gave me 

32 times that you “helped me” 

32 times that I gave in

32 times that I gave you a piece of my soul on a platter

And I'm scared for when its 33 

Because the last time I barely stopped you from tying the rope  

And now looking into you 

I figured something out 

Nietzsche was wrong 

When you stare into the the void 

Slowly but surely 

You become the void