tangible pain

"dimples pierce her cheeks like a bullet to resilient flesh
that smile is so convincing little girl, what a hoax!
those eyes are so intoxicating
so dark 
so thick.
Like wine, they drink them in, some sip it, some chug it
...they all get caught
so convincing little girl, what a hoax"

leave me alone!
Im no hoax 
i keep them happy, i make them laugh
its a commensalism
im an escape and their mine
why dont i deserve comfort
slavery days are over!
im spent 
im lost
im fighting an internal battle that have no end.
Day comes and goes in a blurrred haze.

Ive been searching for too long 
and i've finally found a mask.
that doesnt mean im a hoax
it makes me human, because finding yourself isn't a scavenger hunt.
its a journey, the earth doesnt end at the horizon, keep sailing ...