Tar (a.k.a. Black Diamond Lake)

(poems go here)

I

I will never know love.

Walking through the corridor,

With an unprecedented amount of trees,

I walk down the path

To see a black light of hope.

The sun rains down rays of hope,

The battering of the rays already add on,

To my less than enlightened mind,

That is burning with thoughts of you.

Why am I walking down this path?

I’ll never know.

I question, I dwell, I ponder,

In the warmth that you provide.

I think of everything about you,

How our eyes simmer when they gaze into each other,

How our eyes tell of so much, and of so little.

I think about your smile,

When we laugh.

That fluorescent smile blinds my path,

Blinds me of any thoughts

Other than you.

I cannot see where I am going,

I understand where I am heading.

Further down the path I go,

Being led blindly through this bright corridor

By our heart’s flame.

II

I continue blindly down this corridor

I feel something lift my toes,

I feel the pads of my feet start to leave the path,

What is forcing me up?

I drift towards the sky,

The limbs hit me

Tries to smack sense into me.

I float higher and higher

Pain fuels my ascent

Higher and higher.

Floating in the air,

The wind turns me,

Tosses me to the emotional flight

That has been our experiences

Our happiness

Our lows

Our highs,

I now see where I must head

The shore of the black diamond lake,

Shores are the infinite beyond

That continues our journey

To a place beyond knowing

To a place of understanding.

III

I reach the shore,

To find a pool of black tar,

Many have come to lie in this black diamond

Which has preserved their life.

I am now in doubt,

My toes become heavy

My pads are cemented.

But they move forward,

Moments of dread and despair set in,

I struggle, I fight, I am losing to the current

That is pulling me closer to a shallowly tomb

I can no longer fight it,

I see my toes go in

I see my arms go in

I see myself go in.

The current has a hold of me

It pulls me to an inevitable doom towards the middle of the lake

The tide seems to be going quicker and quicker

Finally I reach the middle of my tomb

Lying barely below the surface,

The airy sensations are keeping me close to the surface,

I want to sink in,

I want to submerge myself,

But I have to float to wait for you.

I see everything.

IV

I see you at the shore,

You sense that I am near,

But nowhere to be seen

I lie beneath the surface.

You take a step on the shore.

Good! Take one more step and see

How the tar will not pull you.

Take the step

See how you stand on the surface,

How you can walk on the surface.

Make your way towards me,

That’s it

Closer and Closer.

I pray that you can find me,

I beseech that you take those extra steps,

That leads you closer to me.

Closer and Closer

You make you way towards me,

Slowly and ever so elegantly,

You stop

You’re right on top of me.

Kneel down on top of me,

Pray that our love

Makes you happy and

Gives you everything to which I can barely give you.

You sense the warmth that lies beneath the surface,

Lie down with me.

You don’t know where I am; You understand where I am.

V

I see you

I’m submerged.

Trapped in this black diamond.

I am so close to you,

Come closer

The surface is smooth as a mirror.

In this two-way dark mirror,

I see you but you cannot see me,

But you feel me

Feel us.

Damn this tar,

Not even this perfect black mirror

Is able to catch

Your presence,

Your inner beauty,

Your perfection,

It distorts you.

Nothing in this world

No words

No pictures

No diamonds are able to

Truly show you.

Quick help me,

I am lost for words,

Lost of breath,

I am drowning.

The tar is filling my lungs

I struggle,

I swallow the painful tar,

I feel the air on the surface,

One last gulp before I fade.

I painstakingly take the last gulp

My lips are polished black,

You see my lips,

You come closer to my lips,

I haven’t breathed for the longest time

I haven’t lived for the longest time

Slowly you see me,

You come even closer,

I see the simmer, the passion

In your eyes

Our lips touch,

Our lips caress

Our lips understand,

We understand.