Tears she shed

All the tears she shed were words she refused to speak Which she watched fall down to the paper Smothering the lies she tells everyone She had written them down to rehearse She thought it was the perfect cover But the knots in her stomach suggested otherwise More tears ran down her cheeks And the paper was completely wet The thoughts she wrote down were smudged And the pen in her hand escaped from being used to cover up what she really felt inside She was alone and nobody knew She'd started journaling about how she felt But was good at lying That she even started decieving herself Journaling emotions and feelings foreign to her Writing down what went down with somebody else All in the name of wanting to see herself as a perfect being Her tears told stories she'd worked to keep hidden Stories that she wanted nobody to find out about But the knots in her stomach said otherwise Made her choke on the lies she told everyone Suffocated her with the truth every second But she always played the game well Anti-depressants after 3 hours Were enough for her to feel better again She just wanted to feel normal and be loved by everyone Had different masks to put on to appear normal and appealing But the tears she sheds today tell stories of recovery and hope And maybe one day She'll stop masquerading And reveal her true identity