Temporary Feeling

The heaviness of a humid and cloudy morning with a masked beauty.

Surely there but not quite in its pronounced state--

like the feeling of wearing gloves.

Everything in and beneath your fingers exists

But the objects are warped and not exact.

An intangible concrete.

Right now, this is what an ideal relationship is.

Never too close,but never too far.

I don’t believe I should speak on this temporary--

but it’s a choice I’ve made and I must now seek to fulfill it.

Whether it be a friend or more,

distance is the best option.

Never close enough to hurt them if I ever lash out or me if the tables turn.

Never far enough to make them feel unwanted or like they are a nuisance

because they are not.

They are important to me, and that is why I’ll protect them from myself.

I’ll put on the gloves and keep my own evils and faults separate.

They deserve the world in my eyes--friends and more-- and I believe

they can have it without my direct contact…

I don’t think of this as a self-sacrificing love because nothing is given up.

My gloves allow me to still interact and love with precautionary measures.

Like when you’re in a science lab and there are coverings and tubes for everything

So you don’t infect or contaminate the samples and not so much as self preservation

as there are measures for when something does go wrong.

And no, I’m not saving myself from being hurt because if I were, I would leave the lab altogether.

A perfect relationship is where I protect them--friends and more--from myself

Until I deem myself clean and risk free enough to shed my gloves.

Those tangible and indefinite silhouettes are no longer fuzzy in my hand’s eyes.

Rather a clear and passionately burning image of all my friends and more.