Thank you, Best Friend

My Dearest Jules, 

My love. My heart and soul. My everything. My best friend. I don’t even know how I am going to be able to write this letter; there are not words in the English language strong enough to describe the kind of love I have for you. So, I want to preface this with the fact that this is my best attempt to tell you how much you mean to me. I’m hoping that you already know that you mean the world to me in case I can’t find the words. Ok. This was a long intro. Let’s get into the love. 

Jules, whenever things go wrong, people are so quick to say, “It’s God’s plan!” or “You have to experience our bad to appreciate the good!” Before I met you, I was completely convinced that those people were full of shit. When you came into my life, I was not myself. My depression, anxiety, and pure loneliness had turned me into a person that I couldn’t even recognize. My self confidence was shattered, and I could not perceive a world where anyone could love me, or even be my friend for that matter. I was in desperate need for help; help finding happiness, help finding friends, help finding myself….. turns out, I didn't have to look any further than the seat next to me in English class. 

Jules, the first time we spoke, everything became clearer. Not to be dramatic, but you were like a radiant beam of sunshine that made the darkness of depression disappear. As we started talking more and more, I realized we were more alike than anyone I had ever met before. I didn’t have to be anyone other than exactly the person I was, which was so refreshing. In other friendships, I was forced to be a bitch, shut people out, and basically completely alter my personality to please people who didn't even care about me. It felt like you were the part of me I had always been missing; having you in my life made me feel like a whole person, which was a complete shock after feeling so empty for so long. 

Throughout sophomore year, we grew closer and closer, until we were spending more time together than we were apart. I remember that summer before junior year as one of the happiest times of my life because you made me the happiest gal. Your family became my family. 

Now, I’m just going to go through some of my favorite memories of us. There literally is no order to this, but I’m just gonna write them down as they come to me ahaha. GOING TO RED ROBIN IN THE COUVE LAST WINTER! Omg I loved that so much. Just chilling together, talking about boys (like always), drinking milkshakes and eating the bottomless fries the waitress wasn’t supposed to give us but did anyway because she “got off in 10 minutes and didn’t give a damn” about how many fries we ate. FaceTiming Keelan is one of my favorite memories for so many reasons. That was the first time I actually opened up to you about how much it actually hurt when Elizabeth and Karina left me. It was hard for me to be real because I knew you were friends with them, but obviously, you were super understanding and loving. Do you remember when we made pancakes at your house on a Sunday morning? Nothing too specific about that, but it was just a happy memory full of good food and screaming music at the top of our lungs. As I mentioned before, I will never forget when we were sitting on your bedroom floor with Carol and talked about boys. When we were in Cali, you ordered a surprise drink at a coffee shop and got a “rainbow unicorn swimming in the ocean” which was a truly heinous color, but was one of the best things I’ve ever had. 

Jules, I want to thank you. For everything. For being my rock, my therapist, my confidant, but most importantly, my best friend. I don’t think I even need to get into the whole “I’ll always be there for you” thing because I just assume you already know that. OBVIOUSLY, you're stuck with me forever and ever. 

All my love,

Hailey :))