A Thank You for the Big Fat Man

To My Formerly Signficant Other: 

I would like to take a moment, 

A minute of your time, just to say, 

Thanks.  Really.  Thank you. 

Thank you for this big fat man.  

Contrary to what you might think, my dear, 

You haven't broken my heart. My soul.  My mind. 

You sent me this big fat man.  

Do you remember?  

You sent me this big fat man.

That sits on my chest, weighs me down, forces breath from my lungs.

Thank you for this big fat man

This gluttonous, indolent, insatiable man, 

who makes heavy my heart. My soul. My mind. 

You sent me this big fat man.  

That sits on my chest, gorging himself on my misfortunes, 

That forces me down and holds me captive in lowliness. 

Do you remember?

You sent me this big fat man. 

Thanks.  Really.  Thank you.  

With love, 

Your Formerly Significant Other